To be honest, today was kinda rough.  It is the first Monday of Summer break and we had a super busy weekend celebrating Father’s Day and Zachary’s birthday.  Tons of fun but I am worn out!  I wasn’t quite ready to face a long week of summer with the boys all to myself.  But ready or not, Monday came around again.

We had a pretty good morning doing things around the house and even getting a little school time in (not without protest but we pushed on).  Then came the trip to a friend’s house…

This particular friend is one I know pretty well and feel pretty comfortable with.  Her kids are the exact ages of the boys and our youngest boys get together quite often.  This is one of our first times with all six kids in one place.  We went over to share cupcakes and play at their house.    Given our family dynamics, we don’t get to go to friend’s homes very often, so I was pretty excited to give this a try.  I knew that we are close enough friends that if it didn’t go well, we’d be ok.

We walked into their home and whole atmosphere changed!!  The boys were loud and excitedly going from room to room checking things out.  Us grown ups try to sit and have a cup of coffee but if I’ve learned anything in the last 9 years, it’s that my life doesn’t allow for many sit down, drink a cup of coffee moments.

The kids decided to go outside to play and their oldest was trying to show Nathan around the yard and tell him what the rules/boundaries are.  Nathan was having no part of that!  He was like a caged animal set free…exploring everything and all over the place.  Their son got frustrated and eventually asked me why Nathan is the way he is.  Why he doesn’t listen as well and why he runs off so much.

This took me off guard. I think it’s the first time I’ve been asked by anyone, “what is wrong with your kid?!”   I didn’t know what to tell him.  Do I say it’s because he was born so early?  Has brain damage?  Is a surviving triplet?  Has sensory processing disorder?  Do I say it’s just the way God made him and let it go?  Do I get into a huge discussion of how we are all different and all have strengths and weaknesses?  I know this is a question a lot of adults have wondered about, but having someone come right out and say it was a little hard to take.  That is the best part about kids is that they have no filter!!

It got me thinking, how do we celebrate Nathan for who he is, the way God made him and with all this history tagging along?  How do we help him navigate the world…all the social norms that he isn’t really aware of?  How do we realize his past but help him fully live his future?  I guess I’m learning that parenting doesn’t really get easier as your kids get older!  Yes, gone are the pull-ups and diapers and spit up, but here are the years of friends (or lack there of), social rules and expectations.

I keep coming back to a song I just heard the other day, “there can never be a more beautiful you”.  That is true of you and me and Nathan!  He is the best Nathan out there and we have to help him be the best, fullest Nathan he can be.  God made him just as he is and I know He will use that curious mind for great things.

It’s time (once again), to let go of expectations.  Expectations of how life was “supposed” to be or how our family dynamic “should” be or even how I thought my children would behave!   Our life is complex and full of challenging moments.  It is full of mess and mistakes and grace.  So for today, we say it is what it is.  Today we give extra hugs, take a few more deep breaths, and pray for wisdom for whatever the next challenge may be.