A mother’s heart never really forgets.  You may forget for a moment–the anguish, the fear, the tears, the heartbreak, but you never really forget.   It comes back to you in the strangest ways and most unexpected of times.

I don’t know if it’s because Mother’s Day is right around the corner, or that on Sunday they sang the song we had sung (thanks Rachel!) at Matthew and Brandon’s memorial service, or that the boys are asking a lot of questions about their brothers recently, or that a family I know who is going through a hard time with their little peanut; but my heart is remembering.

When someone asks me how many children I have, I answer three, but my heart says five.  I had five boys grow in my belly, five perfect little people whom were created in the image of God.   Five little people who were a part of me and a part of Dan.  Those two boys we lost are forever a part of our family and part of our hope for the future.  I know I will see them again someday.  Two more little Nathans…how fun is that to imagine!

A friend of mine is in California with her family on vacation when, last night, her 2 year old began seizing for the first time and ended up in the ICU.  My heart goes out to her.  I know what is like to be so worried, so fearful, so hopeful, so anxious.  I know what it’s like to sit and wait and have the hours pass so slowly.  To look up expectantly every time the doctor or nurse comes in, hoping for some good news.  My Mother’s heart is there with her, and I remember.

The saying goes, “Be kind.  For everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about.”  So, as Mother’s Day comes near, give someone a hug.  There is a lot of grieving going on. Grieving the fact that you never were a Mom.  Grieving the children that have gone before you to heaven.  Grieving the Moms who have gone before us.  And maybe, you are just grieving the way you thought it would be, the expectations that didn’t become realities.  It isn’t always rainbows and butterflies and that is ok.  Life is messy, loud, chaotic, painful and sometimes just plain hard…but there is Hope.  There is the One true Hope.

We are not alone on this journey called life. Share your story and may our experiences, our struggles, our challenges, our triumphs be a blessing and encouragement to those around us.